THE LOUDMOUTHS

TOUR ’97 continued...

Beach betties and
weird drinks.

Cowabunga dude! Just like a scene straight out of Fast Times at Ridgemont High, we played with the rockin’, wacked-out STUNT DOUBLES four local NC surfer dudes, and drank with a couple haole blonde beach betties out of a fish bowl. We had an impromptu party back at the beach side pad where I managed to start fighting with one of the local psychos. The next morning, Beth, Jay and I lounged on the sand and swam in the perfectly temperate Atlantic, while Pete hit the skate park. It was like Club Med for THE LOUDMOUTHS, and it was well needed because next up was a hellish long drive to New Orleans.

Taking avantage of New Orlean's
all-night, 24-7 bars.

We hit New Orleans and headed for some intoxication at the local watering hole with go-cup in hand. We enjoyed the cities’ favorite pastime of drinkin’ and drivin’, and cruised over to the hotel where JOHNNY THUNDERS O.D.’ed toasted our beers to rock n’ roll and continued on down the street doing the Bourbon St. stagger. Spell bound and destined for a hurricane of a hangover, Jay didn’t know when to call it quits and got royally obliterated. The next morning, Jay puked again and was so tore-up, he had to sleep all day while the rest of us ate crayfish and gumbo, went to a drive-thru daiquiri stand and explored the swamps even spotting a little gator. In the evening, we played at Monaco Bob’s where a handful of people were their to see us. It was a disappointing turnout. The best thing that happened was when a friend of Beth’s started showing some boys how to give themselves a self-induced blow job, and then one of the urchins took down his pants to show us his teeenage package. Problem was the rotten kids ended up coming home with us. Hmmm... by the end of our stay in New Orleans we were itching to get to the Longhorn state!

We arrived in Houston at Cristi’s from STINKERBELL house just in time to shit, shower and head for the show.

Pete and Chumps frontman,
Henry Rollins look alikes.

At Mary Jane’s, we were welcomed with a dressing room (what a novel idea) and beer. We played with Austin’s THE CHUMPS. They rocked mega hard and sweaty and were a breath of fresh air. We played an energetic set to a chosen few and headed for Austin the next day. By the time we got to Emo’s Austin, it was pissing buckets of rain, and no one was quite sure if the MOTARDS were gonna play as scheduled or not. Rumors of a MOTARD break-up had us all a little worried about the two shows we had booked with them. Bummed, we went down the street and ate the worst pizza in the planet, popped a couple of Tagamet and started downing Buds. We returned to the club, Beth and I took on a couple of sweaty games of air hockey. THE BOOZERS were up first. They were nothing like I had expected, but really fuckin’ great. These guys were skinny. I was expecting fat, beer gut bustin’ Texans, weird. During THE BOOZERS set, THE MOTARDS filtered in one by one. Toby MOTARD told us that this was gonna be the last MOTARDS show. I don’t think any of em’ could stand to be in a van together long enough to travel to the next show in Dallas, In the middle slot, we roused a kaotic set and had a blast in a packed, drunken rocked out house. It was definitely a highlight of tour. Possessed with one foot in the grave, the MOTARDS blew their final wrath on Austin with a strong, hard hittin set that had everyone smashed against stage reeling and rockin’. The MOTARDS (R.I.P.) blazed a place in punk rock heaven, and THE LOUDMOUTHS will miss' em that’s for sure.

The next day we ate breakfast with a couple x-MOTARDS and friends reminisced about passed shows and hightailed it to Dallas home of the Cowboys. Dallas completely grossed me out, we arrived in the middle of some college football rivalry, so all these muffys and Biffs were all football drunk making all of us royally gag. At the Orbit room, people turned up not for the bands , but to socialize and drink, so it was a luke warm show at best. Oh, except for a couple kids who were great. One chick came on stage and screamed one of our songs for me, cool! Beth made her rounds at the bar and was disgusted to find a bunch of racists amidst the crowd, mom’s included. Despite this, THE BOOZERS played hospitable hosts and offered up their digs to us. Later back at the ranch, I answered THE BOOZERS home phone drunk, ornery as all hell and started shit with some guy who happened to call. The guy was being a dick, so I hung up on him, and passed out dead-drunk asleep. While I was snoozing, the guy I hung up on and some of his cronies came over to the house looking to square off. They, I quote wanted “to bust some heads". Pete answered the door and had to sooth the beasts and make’em leave. Sorry, Pete!

The next two days were spent driving to Arizona with lots more thrift store shopping and skating. Everyone was pretty angsty to get home about now.

In Arizona, we played on a balcony with THE FELLS and THE IMPOSSIBLES in some small bar. A few people (Sam & Tim, etc.) showed up from seeing us the year previously which was really cool, but all in all it was a poor turn out, granted it was a Tuesday night.

California here we come, we all thought. We tooted our horn and got a little thrill when we crossed the state line. Our last show was set up in San Diego at the Velvet Room, x-Casbah/leather bar. The bathrooms were cockroach ridden, the crowd blew and we were all tired and anxious to get home. After the show, we started the drive home. About 6am, Pete petered out. Bleary-eyed we slept at some motel for a few hours, got up ate some breakfast, and raced the last few hours home. All in all, I’m glad for the experience, all the cool people we met and bands we played with, and would like to send a big LOUDMOUTHS smooch to all of you that helped us out along the way.

THE END

Check out our Euro 1999 tour pix

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