THE LOUDMOUTHS

Adam from the Hookers.

TOUR ’97 continued...

Next, we trekked to Chicago to play an all ages show at the Fireside Bowl with raucous locals, URBN DK. Beer in hand, we toyed & mingled with kiddies answering wide-eyed punk questions like, “Did you ever see the Dead Kennedys? Do you ever see Jello walking around?” The kids were a trip. We played a fevered set and went to cool off in the bar where I was dared to “drink more than anybody else”. I’m sure there is no need to expound on what happened next, huh?

After the Chicago show, we headed for St. Louis, Missouri and played with The CASUALTIES, and local teen rock addicts EL GORDO’S REVENGE who were great. When we drove up the CASUALTIES dudes were hanging out outside and when we asked them where to load in one of the guys (who sported a 2 foot hawk) answered us in an English accent. Too bad they aren't english, what a joke. I also imagine they must spend a shitload of time at reststops, knox and blowdryer in hand. Ha ha ha. The kids in St. Louis like to drink and rough house, and seemed to really be into THE EXPLOITED. I must have scanned at least three EXPLOITED t-shirts while we were there. Our show went off well, the crowd went nuts, but we were bummed we weren't playing with VERY METAL. I even got clocked in the mouth with the mic, but I still have all my teeth, thankfully. We also met the St. Louie version of Tom Guido - a freaky Austin Powers dude that had some radio show and insisted on taking a picture with us. In the parking lot were a couple of crusties doin' some sideshow fire play, while a few punk rock groupies got in line to give THE CASUALTIES blow jobs (or so it seemed). After the show, we went and stayed with Phil of Motion Sickness (fanzine) who in a drunken stupor told Pete he had a big package! Ha, the Italian Stallion strikes again! Thanks to Phil for settin’ us up for a few days of r-n-r, clothes washing and videos of South Park.

Hanging out with Ursula who has only done drag a couple times. Go girl!

We slipped into Lexington, Kentucky. We were met by the ROCK N’ ROLL TERRORISTS who put us up for the night, played host to the best party we had encountered all tour, and raised the most money for us to boot. The night flourished with cheap beer, whiskey, and transvestites. Everyone was there to let loose or get loose. The night fired up with THE ROCK-N-ROLL TERRORISTS, THE LONG GONES, and THE HOOKERS. We, high on Kentucky spirits kicked into a sloppy, but potent set that lit the crowd off. The walls flamed up and had to be put out with beer! You wanna good time? Hit Lexington, Kentucky.

Diva, fire-breathin’ drag queen bassist for the Rock-N-Roll Terrorists and a white trash friend.

We gunned it to Columbus, Ohio to get one of our only free meals on tour at Bernie’s and met up with the untamed bad boys from Virginia Beach, THE CANDY SNATCHERS. We talked rock gossip, supplied beer for the underage, and decimated our livers in tequila and beer trying to outdrink THE SNATCHERS. At the bar, I quickly earned the nickname, "Cuervo" by the big-hearted barkeep. Obliterated, I later walked outside and started throwing bottles and razzing nonsense down the street. What a night.

The hot girls in West Virginia.

Next, we trekked to Morgantown, West Virginia with the CANDY SNATCHERS putt-putting behind in their Trans-van. unfortunetly, it was yet another ill-attended show and everyone was miserably thrashed from the reckless drinking the night before. Our crowd at the Niabinge consisted of about five of the toughest, drunk, punk rock stripper chicks we encountered all tour. They kept jumping all over Beth and me. Throwing us about like rag dolls. The owner of the bar had an amazing taxidermy collection including a stuffed pitt bull that kept Beth enthralled most of the evening. Withered an worn, the following evening we headed for rainy Pittsburg, PA. We met up with THE CANDY SNATCHERS again and killer P.A. rockers, THE MUD CITY MANGLERS at Gooski’s, a neighborhood Polish bar and sparked a Loudmouth quickie for the Pittsburgh garage scenesters. THE CANDY SNATCHERS spent most of the evening clogging up the men’s toilet (an infamous O.D. spot for many local musician’s) emptying their guts full of pizza and hot wings. Oh, yeah and members of ANTI-FLAG showed up for support because they felt sorry for us since we were playing a “bar show and not an all- ages show". Boy, they painted us all wrong.

[rock on to the next page]

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