BY BETH ALLEN
His name was “Ozzy.” He was rustbucket blue, a 1979 E150 Ford Econoline with no side windows. One of my bands toured in Ozzy and we had many jokes on the road as we rolled down neighborhood streets on our way to shows... we’d joke about pulling up to people walking by, leaning out the driver side and saying things like “Wanna buy some speakers? Real cheap. We got ’em in the back.” We had laughs about people looking at us suspiciously as we drove by their houses. Sometimes we’d drive slooooow just to be silly and see if anyone would do a double take. Because Ozzy was a very, very creepy looking van.
So when I first came across CreepyVanCo on Instagram, Ozzy came to mind right away, and the memory made me chuckle.
I’ve seen comments on vanner websites and vanner facebook pages where vanners get their panties in a bunch over ANY statements suggesting they might be creepy. After all, no one wants to be associated with child molesters or shady characters. Vanning is serious business dammit!
All joking aside, we gotta face it. There IS a creeper element to many vans. It’s a bad rap that some vans just can’t shake.
Don’t Come Knockin’ had a one-on-one via email with the Instagram creepy van man himself, goofball Richard Ferguson VI. Anyone who follows his Instagram knows he has a great sense of humor and loves vans. And if you don’t follow CreepyVanCo on Instagram, get on it! A van photo a day keeps the blues away!
Interview with Richard of CreepyVanCo by Beth, March 2018.
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Name, age where do you live:
Richard Ferguson VI, 35 years old, San Francisco, CA.
What is your day job?
Nurse anesthetist (CRNA) at UCSF medical center.
How long has CreepyVanCo Instagram been around?
First post was on June 30, 2016.
Why Creepy Van “Co” and not just... CreepyVan?
I dont know. I think all of the good van Instagram handles (including @creepyvans) had already been taken. To be honest, I wasn’t that psyched about the name @creepyvanco but I got sick and tired of trying to come up with another idea. Also, my wife liked the name, and she is badass, so I figured if she thought it was cool then it was cool.
How did CreepyVanCo Instagram start?
So my first vehicle ever (back in 1999) was a 1996 hunter green Dodge cargo van. My dad did a bunch of work on the interior and turned it into the ultimate surf mobile. I had it for 14 years while living in NYC, Philly, and at the Jersey Shore. When I moved from NJ to CA in 2013 I needed a more dependable vehicle so I had to get rid of the van (it still lives in my hometown of LBI, NJ). Once I arrived in SF, I realized it was the van capital of the world. I started taking pics of them and getting into hunting them down. My wife suggested starting an instagram account and once I did all of my friends started sending me more vans shots. Two years later the @creepyvanco has become the most powerful social media account in the universe!
So you don’t have a van now?
Not currently, but the plan is to get another one someday.
What’s your daily driver?
2014 Subaru Forester.
What’s the creepiest van photo you've ever posted?
Back on 8/19/2016 i posted an article from Fox News (I only read Fox News so I can see where all of the angry troll people in the USA get their news) about a man being arrested in Ohio after getting caught having sex WITH his van. It will most likely never be topped as far as creepiness goes.
Why do you like talking photos of creepy vans?
Because I’m a creep!
What makes a van creepy?
The vibe it gives off. Does it look like there is a dead body inside of the van? = creepy. Is my son scared of the van? = creepy. Does the van look like it has herpes? = creepy. But I like nice happy vans too. Not all vans I post are creepy. Some are delightful.
How often do you post to Instagram?
Every day! I have missed a few days here and there, but I try not to let the #creeps down. Some people get very angry if I miss a day.
Do you have to find creepy vans or do you feel like they find you?
I have never gone out cruising with the intention of finding a van to take a picture of. They are just everywhere out here. They hide out in a bunch of places where I mostly hang out in SF. Ocean Beach, in and around Golden Gate park, and SOMA.
Do you have a favorite creepy van you’ve seen?
I love any and all 70’s Boogie Vans. The color schemes and art on the exterior are always sick, while the interiors are always pimped out to the max. They are so sweet. Sadly, I have never seen one in real life. Only on other instagram accounts. My favorite one that I have ever posted was on 10/23/16. It featured a custom paint job by Chris Dyer. Bright colors and some Native American influence.
Now those are my favorite vans, but my favorite posts are when I can incorporate a story about one of my friends or family members. Any time I get a shot with my wife or my son I consider it a perfect post! I recently got a good one with my son the night that the Philadelphia Eagles won the Super Bowl. It wasn’t the best van, but we were running wild in the streets and got the shot!
Do creepy vans come with creepy drivers?
Hell yea! They are nuts... in a good way. Almost all van drivers I speak with are super passionate about their ride and love talking about their story.
Are mini vans creepy?
No doubt. My mom used to have a mini van and she is the creepiest mamacita I know.
Where have you seen the most creepy vans?
SF, CA. It’s too easy in this city.
Who has creepier vans so far -- east coast or west coast?
Tough to say. I find more on the west coast because that is where I live, but my friends on the east coast send me some nasty creepers too. Can we call it a tie?
Any future plans for CreepyVanCo beyond Instagram?
My buddy Protz @sprotz9 just sent me some shirts with a @creepyvanco logo he screen printed as a gift for my wife, son, and me. They are insane. I would love to make a big batch someday, sell them and raise some money for a good cause.
How many creepy vans photos do you reckon you’ve posted?
573 as of today! Hopefully I never run out of vans to hunt!
When people see you snapping photos of their vans and you tell them what it’s for, has anyone ever been offended?
If they see me or they are going to be in the shot I ask permission. An introduction and a handshake goes a long way. I don’t think I have offended anyone (fingers crossed). Actually, I don’t care if I have upset anyone. I’m a social media sensation! I don’t have time to take other peoples feelings into consideration!
Chevy, Dodge or Ford?
Well, my first van was a Dodge. Gotta keep it real. Don’t forget your roots!
Thanks! Any last words for DON’T COME KNOCKIN’?
Thanks a ton for your interest and support! Keep on creepin’ on! Keep that PMA! Can I leave you with a quote? I like this Dalai Lama response to being asked what has surprised him most about humanity, “Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he isnever going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”
PEACE!
PICTURED ABOVE: Richard with his first van and photo that was his first CreepyVanCo post, all others are CreepyVanCo posts too! Keep on creepin’ on!
